Could a cockatoo ever be right for a family with kids?

[Nostromo]

Hi all,
I'm beginning the process of adopting a second parrot. I work from home and would love the companionship during the day; our first bird-child is in love with my husband, so although she is tolerant of me she would rather nap through her day than hang out with me. She is sweetest Pionus you could ever meet. She is incredibly gentle, mellow and low maintenance. So although I have parrot experience with her, I definitely have never had experience with a difficult or high needs bird.

I'm working with a wonderful rescue to find our second bird-baby. (I say this metaphorically; they're all adult birds). The woman who runs the rescue mentioned she has two toos, a Galah and a Sulfur Crested, who like women and are available for adoption. I haven't been to meet any birds yet so obviously there's much I don't know yet but I am wondering - could adopting a 'too ever be wise in a household with a small child? I have a two year old son. He was raised with our bird and knows to never touch a bird or the cage, so it's not so much him that I worry about, but just the intensity of having a human child and a cockatoo at the same time, haha. I've heard horror stories of what cockatoos are like as pets. But, I also don't want to turn away from what could be a wonderful bird just because of preconceived notions about the species. Is there such thing as a steady, family-oriented cockatoo?

 

[Zara]

Is there such thing as a steady, family-oriented cockatoo?

I really don't think so.
It is more a case of the parents being responsible and vigilent, aware of the two cohabiting under the same roof and doing everything they can to be sure that both the child and the bird are always safe.
The responsibility should never fall on the bird to be "family friendly", that wouldn't be fair.

@Xoetix

edit;
To clarify, I am definitely not saying not to bring home a cockatoo. I am just commenting on the term "family-oriented cockatoo" in general. I don't think it is impossible to have both (child and cockatoo under the same roof), but I am sure it is not for everyone.

 

[sunnysmom]

The rescue that I help with won't adopt a cockatoo to a home with small children. Just our policy. That's not to say that you couldn't figure out a way to make it work. But children and cockatoos are both unpredictable. I see videos of children snuggled up with cockatoos and I seriously get sick to my stomach. I bite can happen so fast. My goffin just bit my yesterday. Why? Don't know. We were playing. I would like to say he got too excited, but I actually think it was more he was feeling like being a bit of an a$@ hole that day. So he bit my foot. Not really that hard but it broke the skin and bled. With a two year old that could have been a broken toe.

And so many cockatoos are in need of good homes that when someone wants to adopt one, I hate to be discouraging. You can meet them and see what you think but I wouldn't let the cockatoo interact with your child until much, much older. In general, galahs don't do the loud screaming like other toos. But you should ask about the noise levels also with a sleeping toddler.

 

[Nostromo]

I really don't think so.
It is more a case of the parents being responsible and vigilent, aware of the two cohabiting under the same roof and doing everything they can to be sure that both the child and the bird are always safe.
The responsibility should never fall on the bird to be "family friendly", that wouldn't be fair.

@Xoetix

edit;
To clarify, I am definitely not saying not to bring home a cockatoo. I am just commenting on the term "family-oriented cockatoo" in general. I don't think it is impossible to have both (child and cockatoo under the same roof), but I am sure it is not for everyone.

I definitely don't mean to imply that it would be the bird's responsibility to manage the relationship... but I mean more that I want to do all that I can to avoid ending up with a bird that dives at my child in jealousy because my toddler is going to be crawling all over me. And a bird that is temperamentally predictable would be a better fit for us. My toddler never holds or touches our Pi - she would certainly bite him if we tried! But she also doesn't fly off her cage to attack him, no matter how loud or rambunctious or affectionate he is being. A bird that wouldn't be miserable and stressed around the energy and activity of having a young child would be important too.

 

[Nostromo]

The rescue that I help with won't adopt a cockatoo to a home with small children. Just our policy. That's not to say that you couldn't figure out a way to make it work. But children and cockatoos are both unpredictable. I see videos of children snuggled up with cockatoos and I seriously get sick to my stomach. I bite can happen so fast. My goffin just bit my yesterday. Why? Don't know. We were playing. I would like to say he got too excited, but I actually think it was more he was feeling like being a bit of an a$@ hole that day. So he bit my foot. Not really that hard but it broke the skin and bled. With a two year old that could have been a broken toe.

And so many cockatoos are in need of good homes that when someone wants to adopt one, I hate to be discouraging. You can meet them and see what you think but I wouldn't let the cockatoo interact with your child until much, much older. In general, galahs don't do the loud screaming like other toos. But you should ask about the noise levels also with a sleeping toddler.

My worry is more that the 'too would develop intense dependency or jealousy. I would need a bird that could handle the fact that I have a child whose needs must come first and who I will be talking to and cuddling with and playing with every day. My toddler knows to never touch or approach birds or they will bite him. Since our bird has been around since long before my son was born, he isn't very curious about her anyway. Although he loves to watch her fly!

In your opinion, what would be the complicating factors of having a cockatoo and a young child, other than the obvious of keeping them separated? Are 'toos prone to jealousy, sudden aggression, being velcro birds etc?

 

[Tanya]

Probably jealousy and loneliness would be the biggest issues. Young children take a lot of time and attention. Cockatoos are exceptionally social animals and need a high level of "flock" interaction. There is a built in conflict between the needs of your kids and an adult cockatoo, especially since they should not be in the same place at the same time for safety reasons.

Another consideration is the dust. Cockatoos have specialized power down feathers that grow out at their hips. These feathers crumble to a very fine water resistant dust as they emerge from the skin. The birds spread this dust all over their feathers and floof out great clouds of it every time they ruffle their feathers or go for a fly. Since you already have a non-dusty species in your home, you could be risking the respiratory health of your first bird. Even with heavy filter use, some species are prone to fatal lung/air sac reactions to cockatoo dust. For an idea of the magnitude of the issue here's a post that I did awhile back: Cockatoo dust (It's worth mentioning that we have six filters that run full time in our house for only two medium cockatoos and I still have to dust weekly with damp cloths to keep it under control.)

 

[sunnysmom]

My worry is more that the 'too would develop intense dependency or jealousy. I would need a bird that could handle the fact that I have a child whose needs must come first and who I will be talking to and cuddling with and playing with every day. My toddler knows to never touch or approach birds or they will bite him. Since our bird has been around since long before my son was born, he isn't very curious about her anyway. Although he loves to watch her fly!

In your opinion, what would be the complicating factors of having a cockatoo and a young child, other than the obvious of keeping them separated? Are 'toos prone to jealousy, sudden aggression, being velcro birds etc?

Jealousy can definitely be an issue and the amount of attention they need. My galah experience is very limited but I have always considered them an "easier" cockatoo. I defer to @Tanya as to her experience with them. I think in general, females are easier going than males.

 

[Xoetix]

It’s really hard.

I have a sulfur crested cockatoo, and an almost 5-year-old son, and it is a constant battle to make sure that everybody is safe. There has been one bite that’s happened because Isadora, the cockatoo, was lightning fast, and managed to reach out and grab his arm, no blood drawn thankfully but left a heck of a bruise. needless to say, he’s definitely got a much healthier respect for her now.

The biggest problem I run into is jealousy. She is intensely jealous of any attention that he gets from me, so it has become a situation of always making sure that the time I spent with her is time that he is either at daycare, with his dad, or otherwise occupied to where I can give her my sole focus.

I don’t know enough about galahs to say much on the species (other than I am so jealous you live somewhere with a rescue that has them! They’re never here!) and kids, but it’s something I wouldn’t recommend with cockatoos in general because of the amount of attention they require from you.

 

[Tanya]

I can say that a galah might be a good fit once your youngest child is 9-10 years old. By that age they can help with care of the bird by giving treats and sometimes changing cage papers. They could even spend time reading to or singing with the bird. Rhubarb absolutely loves being the center of the whirlwind, so to speak. Her cage and/or play gym have always been at the highest traffic crossroads in the house because she does not tolerate solitude during the day (though she needs 12 hours of it in the dark at night to prevent a host of behavioral issues). She is also extremely intolerant of grabby hands and her nippy bites really hurt even if they don't usually punch through skin. By the age of 9-10 kids can be taught how to approach in a nonthreatening way and can form a wonderful and lasting bond with a pet bird. If you get a young galah, having kids in their tweens bond with her is excellent planning since the oldest galah I know of was nearly 70 years old when he passed away. Parrots are truly intergenerational companions so its good to think about what happens if they survive the first four years (this sad statistic is the average lifespan of pet birds due to accidental death due to preventable injuries from windows, mirrors, doors, predator pets like dogs and cats, being crushed and flying outside).

 

[Nostromo]

@Tanya, @Xoetix, and @sunnysmom, thank you guys for your thoughts. I'll reserve final judgment until I meet the birds, of course, since there can always been exceptions, and we'll have a foster period to see how things are working out, but my inclination will be to go for a parrot species that is a little less emotionally intensive. I definitely don't want to set up one of these birds for failure when they've already obviously had a lot of disruptions and abandonment in their lives.